I am extra salty today. Frankly, I am annoyed at the very fact that the following post is necessary. A second follow up news story was run on the (alleged) sexual batteries and sexual assaults (allegedly) perpetrated by a trusted local physician on many women. I am no stranger to media attention, nor to internet trolls after several opportunities to have our family story be written and aired multiple times nationally and Internationally. I pretend to eat trolls for breakfast. (I have seen the Trolls movie 12,792 times too many.) While I can let most of the nonsense roll off my back, I cannot bear to see the other (alleged) victims suffer while reading the unkind remarks (all too often made by WOMEN) via comment sections on the articles. I KNOW the anguish and bravery it took for them to come forward. We all have different personalities, but we never know how we will respond to particular trauma until it happens. I love when I see a woman blurt out "WELL, I WOULD NEVER HAVE ALLOWED...."... "I WOULD HAVE SCREAMED, PUNCHED AND LEFT." Seriously, stop. The accusations that victims go after #highpaidpredators for money are exactly the reason (alleged) crimes like these are committed regularly right under everyones noses. This is the reason it typically takes ONE to come forward to open the door for the rest. Then all of the sudden a SALTY herd is formed. TRUTH There is strength in numbers...the kind of strength that holds the weight of the world and keeps one another from falling at the same time. The kind of strength that can't stand to think of another woman having their lives turned inside out, so instead we allow ours to be dismantled, dissected and on display. I will be dipped in SH*T before I allow anyone to fling the dung of SHAME on my sisters.
I have created the following list for your reference. Inclusive but not limited:
1. DON’T assume you know when women reported sexual assault based on when action is finally happening.
2. DON’T assume by excerpts from a news story that you are an expert at what happened to said women.
3. DON’T assume women didn’t go to the police based on the inaction of law enforcement.
4. DON’T assume to understand trauma and trauma responses.
5. DON’T assume your opinion is necessary. Sometimes bullying and shaming is mistaken for an opinion.
4. DO assume victims and their families see, read and internalize nasty, condescending and victim shaming comments.
5. DO assume these women came forward, despite incredible guilt and shame to protect their community.
6. DO assume that your wives, daughters, sisters and friends will be safer because said victims chose to come forward.
7. DO assume that kindness, compassion and action can and will change a community for the better and quite possibly STOP (alleged) predators from feeling comfortable operating openly in our mainstream. 🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘❤️👊🏻💪🏼
This should go without saying. It doesn't. I believe we can change that too.