I have to admit that while unintentional, I AM “salty” about the first post I have avoided making. I am not asking you to “pardon the pun”, I am asking you to be pissed at it with me. Because if this can happen to me…
I purposefully chose a picture of our backs because I need it to be understood that we need to represent all families, all races, creeds and colors. I have to make it clear that I am representative of many faceless silent victims of a crime that most know nothing about. My precious, super-sized, unconventional family embodies the many spouses/families around that didn't need to be in the room to become the unintended secondary victims of an unspeakable crime.
You see, I had been in the process of solidifying my “brand” and creating a blog/site to share it on a more consistent basis. I was poised to share more about all things “Twiet”, about being #fullypresentwhollyhealthy. I wanted to tell you all about regaining yourself and getting control of the things that have managed to escape us all too easily. Hell if I will let my own mistakes and suffering not be used to help others avoid pitfalls! I wanted to share things that worked for us, the things that didn’t. I wanted nothing more than to use my experiences as a wife, mom, missionary, minister and entrepreneur (etc.) to enrich the lives of others and to bring hope to the hopeless in the trenches that I jump in and out of like an Olympian.
Perhaps soon, I will write about blended (step) families, chickens, kombucha, special needs, homeschooling, nutritional cleansing, marriage, adoption, “veganizing” a huge ass family, faith, Holy Yoga, parenting kids from trauma and with Down Syndrome and Autism, decorating, stigma slaying, oceaning, gardening, earthing, relationship over religioning, etc. But, first things first.
For such a time as this, this strong, outspoken, tell it like it is wife to a rockstar, mom to many, entrepreneurial creative (MEEEE!) needs to tell you about the time she froze in fear and confusion and had all that she believed about herself stripped away. I need to tell you about when my mouth wouldn’t work and my body and mind couldn’t synch. I have to shed light on this dark and hidden topic, because after it happened to me I found that it has happened to far too many.
Silence has never been an option for me, especially where there is stigma and injustice. For those of you that have “known” my family for years in real life or because of the last decade of major national and international media attention that our life choices drew, or you have been personally touched by our life ministry…you know it’s in my DNA. So, I guess I am the right girl for a job I would NEVER have applied for.
Here I am, a survivor and a light bearer. I am reaching my hand and heart out to the others that have been SEXUALLY ASSAULTED/ABUSED by a physician. I know why you have stayed silent, I have seen why with my own eyes. I know, if you have spoken up that your voice has been hushed, that you have been mocked or dismissed. I know that nothing feels or looks the same anymore. I know your personal relationships have been hurt and your relationship with yourself has become like moving in with a complete stranger. My heart breaks for you. I cry for you, I search for you… I learned from the Guy that leaves the herd to go after the ONE.
My (our) trust has been broken in the vilest of ways. High paid predators are treated differently than low paid ones. I am hell bent to expose the realities of all of it and to DEMAND justice for myself and the rest of my “Salty Elephant” sisters.
I will not be silenced. He (they) chose the WRONG GIRL/S… My actions will no longer be covert in locating other victims. This herd is growing and it is loud and fierce and it leaves no one hiding and cowering in shame. No more re victimizing victims. NO ONE left exposed. Not on my watch, not on the watch of my girls bravely coming forward. There is no hiding anymore. I have already suffered the worst of consequences. I can’t be further shamed or made any more fearful than the position I have been placed in, so THIS is my COUNTER POSE.
*Counter poses (Yoga) move the body in the opposite direction of the previous pose. This is a necessary response to balance the action. It is GOOD. I have realized my life has been a series of counter poses, I am well practiced. The counter poses of silence, fear and shame are some of the strongest. These counter poses are going to leave a mark.